If you plan on trying to be ambitious next semester, you know by now that taking more than 17 credit hours will cost you — big time. Every credit hour over 17 will put you back $440. You thought it would be more economical to actually graduate in four years? Not anymore. But with these handy tips, you’ll be earning that $440 to $1,320 or more in no time.
1Sell your plasma. Visit your local blood bank at CSL Plasma and save a life or two. Who says you can’t be a philanthropist and make money at the same time?
2Sell your textbooks ... now. Forget about needing them for finals — you need this cash more. Hawk your books on Chegg.com, Half.com, Amazon.com or to unsuspecting high school kids in tour groups. Oh, and don’t plan on buying any textbooks next semester. You have credits to buy!
3If you don’t have time to put your stuff for sale online, take the old-school route and set up a yard sale. Any item you haven’t used or looked at in the past month should go. You can live in an empty apartment as long as you’re able to afford those three extra credit hours, right?
4Go snorkeling in the Student Center fountain. Sure, those pennies go to a scholarship fund, but you need them more! Grab your swim mask and go for gold. If people catch you in the act, scream, “It’s for the new clock tower!” and run away. They’ll understand.
5Start a designated driver taxi service. Your car may not be yellow, but that doesn’t mean it can’t carpool strangers around town. Charge a flat rate of $5 per mile, and you’ll be cashing in those extra credits before the end of the month.
6Sell your stuff on Craigslist. You don’t really need that nice lamp or antique nightstand, anyway. Put your junk for sale on Craigslist for $450 (go ahead, give yourself some extra cash to get crazy with) and watch the earnings roll in. Who needs priceless heirloom jewelry when you have an education to pay for?
7Be a lab rat. Sign up to test new pharmaceuticals, skin creams or hair products. Cash in your payment as soon as the trial is over. Sure, such experimentation might result in irreversible hair loss, blindness or a nasty rash, but at least you’ll be able to take that much-needed elective in the fall.
8Find yourself a sugar daddy on SeekingArrangements.com. It’s not glorified prostitution if you take the money and run before the dessert course, is it? Charge $220 for a dinner date, treat yourself to two, and call it a successful week. Just don’t use your real name — we can’t be held responsible for any stalkers.
9Babysit, dogsit, grandmasit. Whatever or whoever needs watched, you’re the man/woman for the job. What if your neighbors don’t have kids, pets or elderly relatives who need looked after? Reassure them you are also an excellent housesitter, and you can never be too safe anymore. Pop a squat by the window to keep an eye on things before they can refuse. Hang out until you feel the house is properly secured and pocket your earnings.
10Be a good pal. Rent out your couch to drunken friends (or strangers, if you’re that ballsy) on those nights they just can’t make it home. Before they pass out, notify them of the $20 rental fee for a slumber party on the futon, plus a $10 security deposit in case of vomit. It’s the least you can do.